(((Disclaimer: Thoughts from my Myspace Days lol ))) Wednesday, February 01, 2006 Just Thinking.... Current mood: lonely Well this is a new thing for me I dont usually tell how I feel over the net but what the hey what can I lose?! Normally I just turn to Crystal and say....."I got something on my chest..." (lol) But NE wayz the main thing that is bothering me is that I get lonely sometimes. I mean dont get it twisted I have dudes to call but most of them I would rather to not be bothered with them as bad as that sounds...lol All I do is work and go to school and lil activities on the side like take my self to the movies or put together a scrap book or read a book. It's crazy cause all the dudes say how pretty I am and how I would make someone happy but yet in still I'm goin on 4yrs of being lonely. Maybe its my fault cause I'm picky but I dont think that I should have to settle for just anyone. I want to be in love and married one day and I just dont want to se...
....A let down? No matter what I do, with certain I always feel like a let down. Like I let them down in some kind of way or another.... I can be too much of a people pleaser at times, and sometimes that does more harm then good I usually end up exhausted or hurt trying to make others happy just to feel like a let down all over again... I need to find a way to shake this feeling, it has me in my feelings sometimes and even second guessing myself even when I know that I am right or when I know that I have done no wrong.... How do I move on from this point? How do I toughen up and stand my ground? How do I adjust my personality to be something that my heart is not use to doing? I am not sure yet BUT what I do know is that I have got to do something because I am over this feeling that I have at times... *Shrugs and creates emotional walls*
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