(((Disclaimer: Thoughts from my Myspace Days lol ))) Wednesday, February 01, 2006 Just Thinking.... Current mood: lonely Well this is a new thing for me I dont usually tell how I feel over the net but what the hey what can I lose?! Normally I just turn to Crystal and say....."I got something on my chest..." (lol) But NE wayz the main thing that is bothering me is that I get lonely sometimes. I mean dont get it twisted I have dudes to call but most of them I would rather to not be bothered with them as bad as that sounds...lol All I do is work and go to school and lil activities on the side like take my self to the movies or put together a scrap book or read a book. It's crazy cause all the dudes say how pretty I am and how I would make someone happy but yet in still I'm goin on 4yrs of being lonely. Maybe its my fault cause I'm picky but I dont think that I should have to settle for just anyone. I want to be in love and married one day and I just dont want to se...
This is the 6th Father's Day that I have had to spend with without my father. My Dad died of throat cancer in April of 2004. Let me explain how burying a parent has to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. I will never forget the day, well the night that I learned that my father was gone. It was a surreal moment, it was like time stopped. I felt like someone was lying to me. I felt like the breath in my lungs had been taken from my chest. I was my daddy's one and only little girl and we looked just alike just a different skin color. No matter what he did that others may have viewed as wrong he treated me like his little princess. What I regret the most is that in the months before I even knew he was sick we were out of touch with each other. He didn't have a stable place to live and I was a freshman in college. I should have reached out to him more but I didn't. Almost a year before he died him and my mom were both at my high school graduation...
...Make people do things that they do not want to do... Sometimes people lie to you and there is nothing you can do about it... You cant change them, that is something they must do on their own... Yes, sometimes loved ones will let us down but we have to allow them to look at themselves to make changes... It hurts but its not our duty nor is it in our power to change them Our job is to love them and accept them and as hard as it maybe sometimes we have to realize that some of our loved ones need that tough love. When they see that we no longer depend on them or get mad when they bail on us they will see some of the damage that they have done and the changes will begin if they have not already. Be patient with them just as we would like them to be patient with us. It is not an easy process but it is a process. So take it for what it is....
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